Who’s Missing from the AI Guidelines Conversation? Parents.

DISCOVERING AI: Learn It. Live It. Lead with It! At home, at work, and in the world.
By Amy D. Love, Founder of DISCOVERING AI 

With the acceleration of AI availability, parents must step into the role of shaping how technology is used by their family in daily life, guided by their own family values.

I recently listened to Ian Bremmer’s GZERO World podcast with guest Tristan Harris, “The Risk of Reckless AI Rollout” (October 25, 2025). Harris, Co-Founder of the Center for Humane Technology and former Google Ethicist, spoke about the race to build increasingly powerful AI systems without the necessary guardrails. The conversation raised important questions about incentives, ethics, and the psychological and societal impact of AI. Listening to it reminded me again that parents are often left out of the AI conversation entirely.

In nearly every major discussion about technology, policy, or education, parents are treated as an afterthought or avoided altogether. Families, however, sit at the center of this transformation. While schools are issuing more devices, families remain the primary purchasers of technology. They must be integral partners in setting boundaries at home, aligning family values with school expectations, and guiding how children interact with technology. Families must be included and must also recognize their power to lead intentionally, not reactively.

Recent data reinforces why this shared responsibility matters. A 2025 Common Sense Media report examined 2024 media use among children and revealed these trends. By age 2, 40% of children already have their own tablet. By age 4, that number rises to 58%, and by age 6, 62% of children own a personal device. Technology is becoming deeply woven into childhood long before formal education begins.

Bring-your-own-device (BYOD) is also increasing, as schools encourage parent-funded technology purchases. While this has been common in private schools for years, it is now expanding into public schools as budgets tighten. According to FutureSource Consulting, BYOD is gaining significance as families bridge funding gaps and customize what their children use for learning.

At the same time, schools are expanding digital access. Classrooms have become digitally saturated, yet home remains where most habits, attitudes, and rules about technology are formed. Families remain the primary buyers of personal devices, especially smartphones and tablets used outside the classroom. Reports show that over half of children under age 8 have a personal mobile device, mostly gifted or purchased by family members. Many K-12 parents continue to buy new electronics each year, keeping household device purchasing strong even amid financial pressures.

Why do these sources matter? School-issued devices support academic learning, while family-purchased devices cover broader use: communication, entertainment, creativity, and social connection. In this blended environment, parents have both the opportunity and responsibility to shape the values and boundaries that define their child’s relationship with technology.

The conversation cannot be left to schools or policymakers. Families must act now with clarity and confidence, recognizing that empowerment begins at home. The tools exist, the guidance is emerging, and the values are theirs to define. It is time to return power and responsibility to families.

Where Our Perspectives Align

Tristan and I share deep concern about what happens when technology advances faster than our ability to understand and guide it. He approaches this through the lens of design and systemic incentives. I approach it as a parent focused on intentional parenting, practical boundaries, and preparing children to thrive in the Age of AI.

We agree that the lessons from social media cannot be repeated. Persuasive, intimacy-seeking AI systems should never be released without clear guardrails. Families need simple frameworks to determine what is healthy, what is harmful, and how to stay grounded in human connection.

We also agree that AI companions can create unhealthy dependencies. Children need real relationships, not simulated affirmation. Parents can guide these conversations at home, helping children understand what AI is, what it is not, and how to use it responsibly.

We both recognize that incentives drive outcomes. When companies are rewarded for engagement, scale, and speed, families must respond with clarity. Setting household expectations that align with school norms and family values allows technology to support learning rather than distract from it.

Where Our Perspectives Diverge

Tristan often calls for bans and government-led restraints. Those measures will take time and will face corporate and legal resistance. I believe balance and shared responsibility are more effective and sustainable.

The current generation cannot wait. Children today will either grow up with guidance or without it. Families, educators, and communities must act while policy catches up. Even with new regulation, the United States values self-determination over government control. Today, only twelve states require students to receive any formal computer science instruction before graduating. It will take years for comprehensive AI education to reach all schools. In the meantime, who will prepare the next generation? It must be intentional parents and caregivers who lead.

According to the 2025 Common Sense Media report, almost one-third of parents say their child has used AI to learn about school-related material (29%). One in four say their child is developing critical thinking skills through AI (26%). For children ages 5 to 8, those numbers are even higher: 39% use AI for schoolwork, 33% use it to build critical thinking skills, and 24% use it to create stories or art. Families are already seeing the benefits when AI is used responsibly.

In DISCOVERING AI: A Parent’s Guide to Raising Future-Ready Kids, I share how my family approaches technology with intention. My daughter is twelve. Many of her friends received smartphones at ten or eleven. She does not have one. According to Common Sense Media, nearly one in four eight-year-olds now own a cell phone.

Our home does not have a landline, and I remember how important it was to talk with friends when I was her age. I did not want her tethered to her computer for communication, which brings its own distractions. This past summer, I made these decision that a flip phone that stays at home made sense for us. It came with a written technology and phone-use agreement that outlines when, how, and why it can be used.

She also wears a Fitbit Ace watch that allows me to know her location and to text and talk with her. Only approved contacts can reach her. It meets our needs for connection and safety while supporting focus and balance.

This is what intentional, values-based parenting looks like. Families can decide what works for them based on their values rather than pressure or trends.

Bans, Balance, and Real-World Examples

Many schools are wrestling with the same questions. Some have chosen outright bans on student phone use. Others are testing new models that reflect community needs.

Ravenswood City School District in East Palo Alto implemented a policy restricting student smartphone use during school hours due to concerns about distraction, social media harm, and academic focus. Rather than leaving families without options, the district issued flip phones to middle-school students in grades six through eight. These devices only support calls and texts, allowing communication between students and parents while eliminating access to apps and internet browsing.

District leaders explained that the goal was to reduce cyberbullying, screen addiction, and classroom disruption while preserving communication for emergencies. This approach drew national attention because it reflects something rare in today’s tech landscape, balance. It protects focus and well-being while maintaining connection.

The Layer Missing in Most AI Conversations

Tristan focuses on policy, company incentives, and global competition. Those areas matter, yet the most immediate and actionable layer of change happens inside the home.

That is why I created the FAMILY AI GAME PLAN™. It is a simple one-page guide that helps families outline how AI fits into their home, how school expectations align, and how family values shape daily decisions. Families can complete it in about 15 minutes, and then watch as families conversations continually tie back to it.

Every household’s answers will be different because every family’s values are different. That is exactly how it should be.

My Message to Parents

AI is accelerating, and families can lead with purpose.

Ask yourself these questions:

• What values guide how technology is used in my home?
  

• When does technology serve learning, and when does it replace it?
  

• How am I modeling healthy habits in my own use of AI and screens?
  

AI readiness begins with family readiness. It begins with conversations, written agreements, and evolving trust. It begins when we decide that technology should serve human connection and creativity, not the other way around.

When parents lead with clarity, children learn to use technology with confidence and intention.

🎧 If you have not yet listened to the conversation, take 30 minutes for it:
 The Risk of Reckless AI Rollout with Tristan Harris, GZERO World with Ian Bremmer (October 25, 2025).

📘 If you are ready to start your own family’s conversation, explore my book DISCOVERING AI: A Parent’s Guide to Raising Future-Ready Kids

 and download your free FAMILY AI GAME PLAN™ at DiscoveringAI.org.

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐀𝐈: 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧 𝐈𝐭. 𝐋𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐈𝐭. 𝐋𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐈𝐭.
At home, at work, and in the world.

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